maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
