there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
is that a dick in a sweater?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
