beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
