It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
i drank out of a bidet.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I still have a little drunk in my system
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Randomize