well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
