Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
