Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize