Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
