fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Randomize
