Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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