I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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