A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Randomize
