Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
