THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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