Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
