I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
