Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
