There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
