i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
