I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Randomize
