one might say we're banned from that church
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
