i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
