dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
We're too hungover to prance.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
