Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
