dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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