I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
