Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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