I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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