There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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