Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
