Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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