my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
