why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
