I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
