Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
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