I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
