Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
