i would punch a child for taco bell
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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