I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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