its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
