I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
