Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize