i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
