Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
