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Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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