Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
