I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
