worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
