if only i could text you this smell
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
