Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
