I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
there was a trapeze. enough said
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize