i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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