hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
