you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize