i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
