i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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