Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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