Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
