Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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