Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
