Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
