I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
People in love make me want to vomit
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
