id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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