too bad you live with your parents still
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Randomize
