I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
how do flat chested girls get laid?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
