Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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