I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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