my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
