We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
