Sry I called you an 8
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
