I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
